Yeah. I like it hard. You heard me.

>.>

I make things difficult. And no, I'm not just talking about the fact that I may or may not be *slightly* neurotic and therefore complicate the life of any poor sucker within a 10 mile radius, but sincerely and truly, I seem to be on some lifelong goal to make every task I endeavor to perform 10 times more difficult than it needs to be.

And I'm proud of it.

When I was in college, I had a roommate for my last couple of years. My roommate's parents were professors at the university we attended, so she had the benefit of free tuition. She worked a job for money, yes, but her parents also gave her a generous (well, it seemed generous to me anyway) stipend every month to pay her rent, groceries, etc.

I, however, busted my butt in college. I grew up in Texas, but went to college in Ohio, and I paid a fortune in out of state fees my first two years***. And with the exception of my first year (it took me five years to finish up my Bachelor's), I paid for it all myself, mostly through loans and scholarships. I know a lot of people had their parents support them while they were in college - but I refused it. My parents would send me checks and I would rip them up and send them back. I didn't want anyone's help - I wanted to do it the hard way. Not because I had to, but because I had to prove that I could.

And I judged my roommate. I felt like I was superior to her, because she struggled to make ends meet, even though she didn't have to pay tuition, even though her parents gave her a monthly stipend. I judged everyone I came into contact with. I looked down on everyone who didn't work as hard as I did, and take the hard way, like I did. This meant that I was a pretty crappy friend and girlfriend to everyone during college.

It was wrong of me. I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt, and say that I was young, and proud, and coming into my own, and determined to follow a very specific path. Years later the path suddenly became much less clear, and I got a taste of my own medicine. So now, even though I'm still the kind of person that insists on doing things the hard way, I learned a very important lesson - stop judging others who are more rational than proud.

I leveled my priest holy, and it was hard. I also leveled solo through most of BC, and it was hard. I refused to run dungeons with anyone more than a level or two above me. I wouldn't accept gifts of great gear from people that would make it easier. I felt bad looking up things on wowhead, because it made things easier.

Do you get where I'm going here?

So is it really a shock that I hate the ICC buff? Or rather, that I would prefer to not use it? The main difference is that it doesn't just affect me, but nine other people. So I caved because I understood it was what others wanted. And I don't think less of them for wanting to do that, and I sure as hell don't think less of the other million WoW players that use it. Never confuse the expectations and desires I have for myself as something I think others should try to live up to.

I actually think the buff for ICC was a fantastic idea on Blizzard's part. It was a great way to add a granularity to the difficulty level of the major battle raid in WotLK. I fully support their choice and creativity in offering this buff up - and I love the fact that players have a choice whether or not to use it. I felt that it was implemented a bit soon, but aside from that, I think it is for the benefit of all players to have that option available.

I also refuse to use a dishwasher, and wash everything by hand, mmmk? I don't use a mop, I get down on my hands and knees and scrub the floor like a Cinderella wannabe. I have very good logical reasons for all these things I do that are far more difficult than the norm, but I'm not really a role model of rational behavior over here. Don't take one blogger's thoughts and opinions as canon.


*** For the Non-Statesiders among you, what this means is that my public university education (tuition and fees alone) cost about 30,000 US dollars a year. When you go to a public university that is in-state, it is much cheaper.

NB: Seriously. It couldn't get any cheesier than this. Too bad! You'll take what you get - and you'll LIKE IT!


It was the eyes that caught me.

I'd always heard that eyes were the windows to one's soul. So I just thought his windows needed a good washing. The truth was, there was no soul to view - but the windows themselves captivated me.

And now here I am, years later, sitting in bed, reading my new book "Repairing Relationships with Circle of Healing", while sitting next to a pretty grumpy death knight. He's yelling at the TV, threatening to send people on over to the "other side" to hang out with Arthas. I roll my eyes and close my book, and decide it's time to start a game we haven't played in a little while.

I turn my big dwarven doe eyes over to him, and say, in the most earnest voice I can muster... "Darf? Honey? Why do you love me?"

He freezes - in that superior way only Death Knights can.

Slowly he turns his head to face me and gives me a suspicious look. "What do you mean 'why do you love me'?"

"Well what are your reasons? What are the details about me that made you fall in love with me?"

"Fall... in love... with... wha?"

".. Are you saying you don't love me? Is that what you're telling me?!" I start to leak wet stuff from my eyes. Now he's starting to panic. I'm evil, I really, truly am.

"Jessabelle... it's not that.. it's just that... Dammit I'm here aren't I? Isn't that enough of an answer?!"

Once he starts getting angry, I know that the game is over, so I lift my face and beam gloriously up at him. "Touche! Guess you're right."

His eyes narrow and he growls at me. That's kinda hot actually, hm. That ghoul needs to go, though.

I know he loves me, even though he is completely incapable of really saying it, or why he feels that way, and half the time of even showing it. I knew what I was getting into from the very beginning. I know his heart is frozen somewhere below Icecrown, and I know he scoffs at the mere concept of "empathy". But I also know that everytime I've tried to leave, he's Death Gripped me right back, pouting and chastising me in indignant rage. He doesn't know how to show love, but he has anger and resentment mastered. Sometimes I just have to fill in the blanks.

How did a healer such as myself end up with this guy anyway?

Well, behind every holy priest is a shadow priest just waiting to be dual specced. I guess I have my darker side too.

"You should stop pouting and turn out the lights, Darf."

"I don't want to go to sleep. I'm not tired, dammit."

"Who said anything about sleep? I'm not tired either."

Another suspicious glare, and then a deep mournful sigh.

"Oh alright. I'll power through it. The baron always told me to 'Suffer Well', after all."

The room goes dark at exactly the same moment my fist makes contact with his shoulder.

I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me and fall as well
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down

I had a wonderful WoW-filled weekend, and the weekend alone gave me enough content to write about for the next week. However, I shall start with a few randomly awesome things.

1. I can haz moar achievements? I've listed some of my new ones from the weekend on the left. I'm not proud or anything. *puffs chest*

2. My favorite new awful joke from the trade channel: "I was going to tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheezy!!!" I assure you, my friends. The more it makes you groan in despair, the more this dwarf over here is bouncing up and down, guffawing in pure delight. Dear trade channel, you are teh awesome.

3. People like me should not be allowed to collect things. I think Blizzard is going to have some serious lawsuits on their hands once I end up in the loony bin. My OCD is just overwhelming me. Mounts, Pets, and Tabards oh my! If you are trying to collect any of the above, whether it be for achievements or anything else, there are a couple of really good websites. For an all-inclusive list and description of mounts, WarcraftMounts is really good. If you like having pets and haven't been to WarcraftPets, you need to get with it, snap snap! And finally, another website I discovered this weekend that is much simpler, but more effective in some ways, is WoWCollect - it shows a basic list of all the mounts, pets, and tabards, with checkboxes so you can figure out what you need for different achievements. I spent the greater part of yesterday afternoon assembling a pretty sweet spreadsheet with mount info. I'm going to add pet and tabard info, methinks, and pretty it up before I post it here. You know you want it.

4. Looks like me and Whitey will be spending less time in the 'Rend, and more time in the Outlands, grinding up rep with factions I ignored before, because I readily admit to being an achievement whore. I never got around to getting my Netherwing mount in BC, mainly because I couldn't be bothered to get a group together for the opening quest, Zuluhad the Whacked. It will likely be even more of a pain to get a group now, but I want me those 6 mounts.