One of my fellow officers and I have come to terms with the fact that sometimes we're just gonna have to agree to disagree. I must say, it's a wonderful thing to know you can disagree with someone on very fundamental issues, and still maintain a good friendship.

I think a lot of our differences are based on one simple debate about how to manage problems in our alliance: Fulguralis advocates a top-down approach, while I look at it from the bottom-up. I won't try to speak for him here or explain his ideas about what a top-down approach entails - he's got his own blog, and perhaps I just gave him an inspirational prompt for today. That's not a challenge or anything *cough*.

Our alliance leader pointed out to me today that there's a reason he made us both officers; We balance each other out. Our guilds are exact opposites. Our votes on issues practically cancel one another out. When Ful and I do actually agree on something (aside from our love for our comrades), he jokes about calling hell to see if they've seen any snow yet.

Our guilds ARE complete contrasts. His guild is quite large, but there isn't a strong interest and/or availability for raiding. From what I understand, his guild is made up of a great variety of different types of people, with different personalities, gaming interests, mentalities, etc. You can go read for yourself; He described his guild just yesterday.

But oh boy. That is not my guild.

There's only 5 of us. Thank God. If our personalities were tripled and unleashed upon poor Lothar, it would make the evening news. We have known each other for a very long time, and three of the five of us went to high school together. We could never really join another guild - we would get kicked out. Our guild conversations would make Doug Stanhope blush (My fiance assures me he is a very offensive man). Trust me when I tell you - you don't want to deal with a pissed off Beardy. And you certainly don't want a whole Bunch of pissed off Beardies. And basically? If you piss off one, you will shortly find yourself having pissed off four more.

The thing is, you might never know it about some of us. Some are actually very quiet to outsiders. You can call it cliqueish if you like, but it's just how we are - it's a comfort zone thing. I met these awesome people by falling in love with one. It was years before the rest of them ever warmed up to me - and I made a lot of gumbo and provided a lot of alcohol to try and loosen those stubborn bitches up. They aren't going to tell you if they don't like what you are doing, or how you are doing it - they will just stop coming around. It's probably better for you, really. See above comment about pissed off Beardies.

When I became an officer in my Alliance, my primary concern was to try and advocate for my Beardies. I hoped that as the most recent addition to this clique of friends, perhaps I could explain and translate our foreign ways. If nothing else, maybe I could hold my tongue better and be a tad more diplomatic (I'm not sure if that actually proved to be the case). If decisions were made that the Beardies didn't like, that they disagreed with, it is unlikely they would say anything - they would just stop raiding altogether. Or leave a giant "screw you" message on the forum, and then stop coming. We are not a loose or diverse conglomeration of casuals who became closer friends through WoW. We are a group of friends who took our hard-core-and-slightly-obsessive-about-everything gaming mentality into WoW and created a guild because let's face it - we don't want to have to censor ourselves. We are five people, tightly bound, who work as a single force. We have similar personalities and interests. We live near one another. In general, from the outside, we look like one solid block of pewpew.

5 people may not seem like a lot, but we're a very well rounded group. A tank, an offtank/dps, a caster, a hunter, and a healer. All dual specced to fill other roles as needed. And that's not including our level 80 alts. Throw us all together, and we're like a well-oiled machine. In addition, we have a tendency to stick together, because we like running together - we feel most comfortable that way. It's not a good idea to split us up - but, the flip side of that is that if you ask for one of us, you will likely have 4 other strong willing players for a raid. We will join one another simply to spend game time with one another.

So my intent was to make sure that the Beardy Bunch never left en masse. It would be a big hit to the alliance. And we are a stubborn group - you will have a hard time convincing us to change our minds.

Therefore, when it seems like things might start falling apart with the alliance, I choose to step back and regroup with my guild. This isn't to get away from the alliance - it's to reassure my fellow guildmates that we're in this together - we're a team, and we're gonna stick it out with the alliance. If one of us starts to think that it's time to back out of the alliance, all five will end up going. I care about my guild, and I care about my alliance - and my alliance has allowed my guild to see content we would never have seen otherwise. So when any of us start to have doubts about the alliance we all agreed to join, it's time for us to get back together and remember why we loved raiding in the first place. Positive reinforcement. I refuse to lose either group of much loved friends.

This is my bottom up approach. When the big group starts to tremble, I'm going to reach out to Alliance members I know well, and try to regroup them on a smaller scale, so we can all walk back into the Alliance stronger than ever, rejuvenated and reinspired. If you start to lose sight of the bigger picture, put it in a smaller frame, and it starts to make sense again.

But I don't keep secrets from my guildmates. And if one wants to piss off a Beardy, all one has to do is tell them they can't do something. Go ahead and try it - tell them they aren't allowed. You can even try telling them they have to do something. You'll get the same response, folks. As Gordin, one of my guildmates, explained this evening, it's an ice cream man situation.

"It doesn't matter how much one of us is craving ice cream. If someone comes up to us and says 'You HAVE to eat this ice cream.' we're gonna tell him to piss off and we'll buy the shit sandwich instead. Don't you dare try to tell ME what to do."

If you want to see the Beardies walk away together, flipping you the bird as they depart, all you have to do is imply that they can't do something. Tell them, in so many words, that they are not allowed to do it. I'm sure it would be a fun social experiment - give it a whirl. And don't think I separate myself from them in that regard. Tell me I can't do something, and I immediately get indignant - on behalf of myself AND on behalf of my guild. I don't say all this about my guild as though it were an embarassment. I'm proud of how stubborn and independent we are, and that we still manage to maintain such outward cohesiveness.

As I try to toe the line between my alliance and my guild, I spend a lot of time grimacing and bashing my head against my keyboard. I am not always forthright with my intentions when I attempt to organize things. If I were to tell a Beardy "I want you to come on this PuG with me, because I want you to get emblems so that you will gear up better", I will find myself Beardless in my pug. "Don't YOU tell me what to do." If I try and tell Gordin that if he needs gold, he should really try the Sons of Hodir dailies because they are quick and lucrative, even though my real intention is that I want him to get the shoulder enchants, he *just might* go for it. I'm not lying. I'm just telling the part of the truth that will encourage him. I'll have to try something different next time though, since he'll likely read this and be suspicious of my shenanigans.

If I were to tell my alliance that I suspect my guildmates are becoming disenfranchised, and I foresee a Beardy departure, which will be a huge blow to the alliance, I worry they will try to do something about it. Please understand - I know they have the best of intentions. But they *really* don't know what they're dealing with here. The words from an outsider will likely fall on deaf ears - trust me. I was an outsider once too. At best, we will scoff and ignore. Probably even come up with new nicknames that will be shared in guild chat for months, and won't be kind. Just ask Gordin what he used to tell the others about my feet when I first started dating my fiance. At worst, they will take great offense to being told what they can/cannot/should/really ought to do, and the stubborn reaction will likely provide the exact opposite response of what was pursued. Their names simply won't appear on the raid signups anymore.

Therefore, I take great offense to anyone in my alliance being suspicious or fearing any malicious intent in anything I try to organize for the benefit of my guild. If it looks like I'm doing something to separate my guild from my alliance, then stop right there and think again. I won't ever advocate one at the expense of the other. I had thought everyone knew this about me, but times are tough I guess. If you aren't part of our guild, then please just try to trust my judgment. My guildmates have a right to question me - I am accountable only to those who have graciously allowed me the honor of representing them.

By questioning or doubting my intentions when I try to find ways to resolidify our guild in any public way, it is very easy to undo all my efforts at guild-alliance diplomacy.

Because despite our inner squabbles and the control-freak idiot I can oftentimes be, somehow my fellow Beardies still manage to support me when it matters, with righteous indignation and stubborness as their shield. I can only hope that somewhere along the way it became apparent that I do not try to make decisions for them, or in some ill-fated attempt to gain control over my guild mates (as if that were possible). It doesn't matter how it was said, or how justified the feelings may be - if it can in any way be interpreted as telling me that I am not allowed to do something, if there is even the slightest suggestion that the Beardies cannot do what they want, you may just have thrown away their participation. You know, that thing I was specifically trying to avoid.

*Sigh.* From the beginning again then. I guess I'll have to be more creative this time.

Even if you've only been in one guild, if you've been playing the game long enough, you are likely connected to multiple guilds through in game friends - people who have left your guild, or knowing others in your guild that know others, and so on and so forth. There is no excuse for someone who has been playing the game on one server long enough to routinely say they have no social resources. What does this say about you? That is your own failing.

There is great incentive to be proactive in maintaining your in-game relationships.

If you let your in-game relationships fall to the wayside, you lose critical resources. You'll find yourself sans healer in a 10 man raid, sitting there helplessly. When things start to get messy and political, it may be time to take a step back and get back to your roots. Don't abandon your guild mates and alliances just because times are tough. If you can't seem to dig up new people, maybe it's time to turn to those golden friends and strengthen those relationships.

If you are having trouble growing, consider this: Are your numbers staying the same, despite bringing in new people? That, my friend, means you are losing your older players. You are making the worst mistake a raid manager can make - Forgetting about the individuals you recruited previously because you are so caught up in trying to bring in new people.

Take some time to reassess and regroup. Turn around and strengthen those bonds again. If you keep moving forward without looking back, you'll find yourself all alone at the peak of the mountain, with no one to help you get down. You've had your head in the clouds, relishing your own glory and patting yourself on the back for being an awesome raid leader, and you forgot to look down to the people who were holding you up. Did you take away their voice, their power as individuals, with the excuse that it's all for the "greater good"? Did you ignore them, or worse, not even let them speak, because you didn't want to have to deal with what they might say?

Summer is a good time for this. Things get messy and unpredictable in the summer it seems. People suddenly want to do things non WoW related, and who am I to tell them that's unfair? Everyone has to prioritize their lives - and let's face it. WoW should never take priority over your family. Instead of flailing about helplessly, wringing our hands in frustration and begging our friends to level up their level 24 druid to heal, take a deep breath and count your blessings. As guild, alliance, and raid leaders, or at least those of us who focus on recruitment and raid organizing, it can be a very stressful time. We can get caught up in the pursuit of growth, and easily forget about those individuals we've pulled together in the past.

It needs to be said. I've been listening to people wail and moan over the past month about how times are tough for raid organization.

But I'm getting sick of hearing the complaining, because people are not looking at the problem with perspective. We get so caught up in issues of rules, and policies, and maybe if we vary things up a bit people will want to raid again - if we build it they will come! And then, lo and behold, no one comes.

We have lost sight of the individual. If an individual player does not feel needed, does not feel important, if we continue to solely enforce this idea that it's all about "the greater Good" (zomg Dumbledore love), we lose the individuals that make up the successful team. I'm all about pushing that philosophy when it comes to gear. But as leaders we get so distracted in thinking gear philosophies should be the precedent we use for other aspects of raid management, that we lose sight of what makes each individual player important to every single raid.

Why should Joe Warrior sign up for our raid to tank? It's thankless. He can sit in LFG for 5 minutes and get 10 tells from people desperate for a decent tank - desperate for HIS help. No one in our raid specifically asked him if he would join us. We just frown at him in disappointment when he fails to sign up. It's not about the gear - it's about feeling wanted and needed. It's a human desire, and we can't lose sight of human desires, even in an abstract world. You shouldn't have to beg someone to join you, but have you tried simply asking as an alternative to assuming?

We recruiters go after individuals and convince them to join us. We court them. Who doesn't like to be courted? We pursue them as individuals, and then ignore them when they join the group. We hand down laws and policies that directly affect them without asking them for their thoughts - because we don't want to deal with the messy disagreements that such endeavors inevitably entail. We know what's best for them, right? It's all for the greater good. If they have any thoughts for themselves, then they are selfish and we don't want them. We turned their head in the beginning with chocolates and flowers, and then left them sitting at home with the TV on Saturday night while we went out to the bar seeking a pretty new blonde.

We can go at it for days talking about how it's all about efficiency. You know what else is super efficient? You know how you can avoid any messy loot disagreements? A fool-proof way to lay down the law and ensure that no one will make it difficult for you to do exactly what you want to do?

A one man raid.

I had a wonderful WoW-filled weekend, and the weekend alone gave me enough content to write about for the next week. However, I shall start with a few randomly awesome things.

1. I can haz moar achievements? I've listed some of my new ones from the weekend on the left. I'm not proud or anything. *puffs chest*

2. My favorite new awful joke from the trade channel: "I was going to tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheezy!!!" I assure you, my friends. The more it makes you groan in despair, the more this dwarf over here is bouncing up and down, guffawing in pure delight. Dear trade channel, you are teh awesome.

3. People like me should not be allowed to collect things. I think Blizzard is going to have some serious lawsuits on their hands once I end up in the loony bin. My OCD is just overwhelming me. Mounts, Pets, and Tabards oh my! If you are trying to collect any of the above, whether it be for achievements or anything else, there are a couple of really good websites. For an all-inclusive list and description of mounts, WarcraftMounts is really good. If you like having pets and haven't been to WarcraftPets, you need to get with it, snap snap! And finally, another website I discovered this weekend that is much simpler, but more effective in some ways, is WoWCollect - it shows a basic list of all the mounts, pets, and tabards, with checkboxes so you can figure out what you need for different achievements. I spent the greater part of yesterday afternoon assembling a pretty sweet spreadsheet with mount info. I'm going to add pet and tabard info, methinks, and pretty it up before I post it here. You know you want it.

4. Looks like me and Whitey will be spending less time in the 'Rend, and more time in the Outlands, grinding up rep with factions I ignored before, because I readily admit to being an achievement whore. I never got around to getting my Netherwing mount in BC, mainly because I couldn't be bothered to get a group together for the opening quest, Zuluhad the Whacked. It will likely be even more of a pain to get a group now, but I want me those 6 mounts.

I have mentioned that I am a professional student - but that particular occupation also entails me doing real work, though I have joked otherwise. I do most of my work in Geographic Information Systems (GIS), which, for the non-Geographers out there (ha), is essentially computer assisted mapping with an associated database.

Anyway, I have an awesome list of all the personal projects I would love to do, and on that list is a an Azeroth GIS. Basically, it would be an interactive map of the World of Warcraft. My idea is that instead of looking up a zone on wowhead and finding a list there of all the available quests in the zone, you could use a map. Click on the zone in question, and search by level. There, on the map, you would see all the quests available for your level, and where exactly the questgiver is. Perhaps it could even show linkages of quest chains - where they would take you. Since a GIS incorporates a database, you could essentially provide all kinds of information and search functions - it need not be solely limited to quests.

I am still considering doing this project, because I love to share my Type A spreadsheetiness mentality with everyone, but it would be highly complicated by the software. Creating a GIS like this would mean either A) only people who have the 3,000 dollar software could use it, or B) I would have to spend a fortune to get the extension that would allow me to publish it so that people would need only download some free software to view it. It's a lot like Adobe Acrobat Reader - except that it's even more difficult (read: expensive) to actually create the "PDFs".

I love thinking up completely unnecessary and complicated tasks for myself that in all likelihood I will never get around to doing. I do wonder though, if I were to enlist the help of others, if it would be much easier. I could do the mapping fairly easily if someone else could help put together the database. Or perhaps I am just trying to justify spending a bunch of money I don't have for a software extension I don't need...

According to Blues (Zarhym), we can look forward to quicker mounting for our alts in the next major patch. If you're like me, you can't access wow forums at work (and really, why exactly would you want to?), so here is the Blue post.

"
In the next major content patch, we intend to adjust mount requirements to further improve the leveling experience in World of Warcraft. In addition, cast times for summoning all mounts will be reduced to 1.5 seconds, down from 3 seconds. The following is a breakdown of the upcoming cost and level requirement changes we are making for each riding skill.

• Apprentice Riding (Skill 75)
  
  
  • 60% land mount speed
    
  • Requires level 20
    
  • Cost: 4 gold
    
  • Mount cost: 1 gold
    
  • Mail will be sent to players at level 20 guiding them to the riding trainer

• Journeyman Riding (Skill 150)
  
  
  • 100% land mount speed
    
  • Requires level 40
    
  • Cost: 50 gold
    
  • Mount cost: 10 gold
    
  • Mail will be sent to players at level 40 guiding them back to the riding trainer

• Expert Riding (Skill 225)
  
  
  • 150% flying mount speed; 60% land mount speed
    
  • Requires level 60
    
  • Cost: 600 gold (faction discounts now apply)
    
  • Mount Cost: 50 gold
    
  • Can now be learned in Honor Hold (Alliance) or Thrallmar (Horde)

• Artisan Riding (Skill 300)
  
  
  • 280% flying mount speed; 100% land mount speed
    
  • Requires level 70
    
  • Cost: 5,000 gold (faction discounts now apply)
    
  • Mount Cost: 100 gold

"

I foresee a lot of "Man, remember back in the day when you couldn't mount until you were FORTY?" and yes, I'm one of those. All my toons who do have a mount had to wait until 40 to get one. When I was your age I had to walk to school barefoot. In the snow. Uphill. 10 miles.

My thoughts on all this? Well, I'm certainly not about to QQ about a change that is meant to "improve" the leveling experience for wow players, but instead of standing here cheering to the sky and woot wooting about how unbelievably awesome this is, I must say there's a part of me that is saddened by it. It's just another step in the slow demise of something that no one seems to really appreciate anymore about this game - the Old World.

It's one of my philosophies about the problem with modern society in general. People are in such a rush to get to the finish line, they don't truly appreciate the process. I'm guilty of it too, mind you. The complaints about leveling up alts, all the leveling guides you can find - does anyone Alliance side actually do the low to mid level quests in Kalimdor anymore? Rushing to progress through raids... and then once you get to the summit, now what? I don't really rush through the leveling process. When Wrath was released, my guildmates were leveling through instances. Not me. I wanted to read the quests (what, no Quest-Helper?). I still have fond memories of being terrified by Stitches thankyouverymuch. But it doesn't really matter what I do. Blizzard is unlikely to go back and fine tune any quests that have problems in the old world, or enrich it because no one cares. They just want to get through it all as quickly as possible, because WoW is now all about being level 80. And that saddens me.

True, I always did think it was a little silly to have to wait so long to mount. I mean seriously. I can ride a horse. Not very fast mind you, but I'm a lazy bum who spends all her time with either a monitor or a book in front of my face. It really doesn't take a *whole lot* to be able to ride a freaking horse. Also, now that Wrath is out, they did need to do something about the flying mount system. It just didn't make any sense anymore - You'd get your flying mount at 70, and then for all intents and purposes, be unable to use it. They also reduced the price of mounts, or at least tried to make it more applicable to the level at which it could be required. Rock on. This was important because unless you had a high level main, it was getting to the point where, yeah theoretically you can get a mount at 30, but thats a lot of gold for a level 30.

I do wonder if they intend to do anything about updating the shammy and druid forms. It used to be awesome to have a travelling form - and now it doesn't really mean a whole lot, because you can get better mounts than the travelling forms, at the same level, and potentially even earlier if changes aren't made with this patch they are recommending.

My mother always told me, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

There's a bit of a burnout theme cycling through the Magic Internet Waves these days, as suggested by Ful and S&S, as well as a few days ago by the tiny pink haired one. Indeed, even at home, my fiance and I have been talking about how we *might* be spending too much time playing WoW, leading to me having one or two (or possibly thousands) of panic attacks about school. In fact, when your Giant Uber Presentation for your graduate seminar includes a picture of the Big Bad Wolf, perhaps it's time to consider whether you have a slightly unhealthy obsession.

I've been tossing this idea around in my head for awhile, because I'm a little on the Type A side, if you didn't already know. I like lists. I like spreadsheets *swoon*. I even love flow charts. So I invite others to consider the same question: What would you do if you weren't playing WoW? I have no doubt there are plenty of other great things I could do with WoW. As far as productivity goes, I could, in theory, be doing much more productive things *ahemthesiscough*. But I do get a lot of benefit from WoW as well.

What might I do if I didn't play wow?

• Sleep more.
• Take those banjo lessons I've been wanting forever.
• Start one of the novels I've been meaning to write.
• Write more fanfic (shh)
• Clean the house? (hahahahahahaah yeah right.)
• Paint/Refinish/Make curtains/rip up carpet/put up moulding, shutters, windowbo... no, probably not.
• Plan a freaking wedding *shudder*
• Walk the poor dog.
• Call my sist... no. Again, probably not.
• Get more work done on my thesis.
• Take horseback riding lessons.

Well now. Those all (or most) seem to be pretty good things I could better do with my wow time. But now, shall I list some of the benefits I get from my time playing WoW:

• My wow friends. I do not really socialize much outside of wow - i live very far away from all my friends, and I hate the phone. Anytime I'm in desperate need of conversation, I can jump on WoW and join guild chat.
• Help with my thesis. There are quite a few people in my guild and alliance that have helped me with my thesis. Some in small ways, just by giving me a sounding board, and others in bigger ways.
• Quality time having fun and doing something I enjoy with my fiance.
• The feeling of satisfaction I get when I progress through a new raid, or get exalted with a new faction, learn a new recipe, max out a skill... these all may seem silly to others, but it's on par with learning to play a new song on my guitar. It's the satisfaction that comes from proving you have excelled at something new in your favorite hobby.

Even though there may be more items on the first list, the items in the second are much longer. I get a lot of personal satisfaction and psychological boosts from playing WoW. While at times it may be conducive to the rest of my life if I restrict my playing time, there are a lot of benefits for me in playing WoW. Therefore, I have no intention of stopping anytime soon!

I'm cheating. I'm back-posting for Monday. Mwahaha.

Because Sunday I never went to bed, and Monday I had a presentation for my seminar class that I was up all night putting together. After finishing my awesome intended to be 20 minute power point presentation, I had to go down to campus for a five hour seminar class in which we all presented our papers. My 20 minute presentation actually ended up being an hour. Oops.

And after that was over? I drove home, and crashed. I just woke up, and I'm still exhausted. And I have to leave for work in 3 hours, and try to fit in a 12 hour day if possible. Blah. I haven't been able to raid with my fellow alliance members on a regular basis for several weeks now (with the notable exception of Maly this weekend). Since my university is on a quarter system, and not a semester system, it may be summer for everyone else, but "summer" for me is defined by "no school" - and therefore, it's not summer yet!

I'm exhausted.

The best way to start a Sunday morning (err afternoon).

Ful may have stolen my thunder, but I can't really blame him. Not his fault I wake up at 2 in the afternoon. Last night, 11 members of our raiding alliance were responsible for our Very First takedown of the nasty smelly Malygos. I say 11 because we had one healer switch out with a dps near the end. That healer deserves just as much credit for helping us learn the fight, even though they left before Malygos fell.

In truth, it was likely due to even more than those 11 people. Over the past few months, random alliance members had occasionally been putting in a few half hearted attempts at 10 man EoE. I've even pugged it a couple of times, and was able to get as far as phase 3 before the rest of the puggers gave up. But this time we dug our heels in, and decided, with complete determination, that we were going to learn this fight even if it meant we would be running dailies for the next week to pay the repair bills. It took us about two and a half hours, but no one seemed to be losing any steam, no one was getting frustrated, everyone was in the right frame of mind to learn a new fight.

We started with three strong healers. Even though we knew it was unlikely we would be able to successfully complete this DPS race with three healers, I think this is probably the key to our success last night. We were able to stay alive long enough to gain increasing exposure to each phase. Since we were steadily progressing better and better through each phase, we were able to keep our spirits up.

After our healer switched out with a dps, it was only one or two wipes later before we had the most miraculous and by-the-skin-of-our-teeth victory. I had finally given up and dismantled Xperl, and during phase three, i decided to load up the Flame Spikes, and after every 5th spike use Life Burst.

As people continued to slowly drop when Malygos enraged, everyone was still excited. Heck, we had him down to a fraction of his health! We could finish him off next try! But amazingly enough... the DoTs kept going... and people were dying slowly enough that we were cheering each other on. One person remained - one of our mages. And she had been knocked off her drake, and was falling to the ground. SLOW FALL! Her slow descent to oblivion left just enough time for Malygos to finally take one last tick of damage and die, just before she died.

I have no idea what Alexstraza said, since everyone was cheering and laughing and screaming victory in vent.

What a way to die, no? Next time, though, we're bringing repair bots.

As I walked through the portal into Naxxramas for the first time, I could not suppress the chills of excitement that ran through me. For any Paladin, the sickly sweet scent of undeath makes our trigger fingers itch, and our innate desire for retribution and purification burn. I took a deep breath, and felt my pupils dilate. I hungered for the act of cleansing this reprehensible establishment of the creatures I knew dwelled within.

Unfortunately, due to the constraints of being a Paladin healer, my healing skills were not required by my fellow adventurers. Tonight, my first time in the infamous Naxxramas, I would be wielding my trusty mace in an attempt to slaughter monstrous fiends, not restore the life of my allies. In my eagerness to involve myself in these activities, I agreed with little hesitation. Honestly, how hard could it be to bonk some undead heads instead of heal?

Ugh.

As groups of monsters assaulted us from all angles, I found myself flailing my weapon wildly around me, or at least, as wildly as anyone can flail a deceptively weighty two-handed mace. I might have hit Yusuf a few times. I probably hit him more often than the spiders. Oh well. Being a good sport, he continued to encourage my efforts, and assured me that I was doing fine.

In my eagerness to Exorcise the demons from within the creatures headed our way, I found they often did not appreciate my attempts on their behalf, and though Yusuf scrambled to distract them by calling them motherless fiends and all other manner of truly not very polite nouns, they seemed to think it was more fun to melt my face to the floor before going after him. Maybe they were right. After several resurrections from my healing friends, I finally decided to take a more cautious route. Dear Light from above, I suppose I underestimated the power of these wiley foes!

Unfortunately, I had not yet mastered all my retribution skills, and would accidentally cast Divine Storm at random intervals while nowhere near any foes. When I did finally get somewhere near our targets, I somehow often managed to walk about three inches PAST them and start wielding my heavy mace through the air, finding no purchase and staring around with a flummoxed expression. I imagine it required nothing short of a Herculean effort on Yusuf’s behalf to suppress snickering at the various bemused looks on my face, but I cannot deny that my Warrior friend has a measure of honor that surpasses many of my expectations.

I continued to hold my head high as with each boss I better managed to actually contact their flesh with my mace, despite the giggles of one or two silly mages. Honestly, it’s easy for them to laugh; They barely even have to move, except when they are running away, wailing loudly about their lack of armor. Wimps. I’ll remember that next time I’m in charge of triage.

Near the end of the night, as we faced the giant spider Maexxna, I finally found my groove. Oh yes, this is nice – I can stand 5 feet away and STILL miraculously use my mace. But the best part was to come later as I heard the call of one of my healer comrades…

“Help! I’ve been web wrapped!”

YES. GLORY IS MINE. So sorry for your pain, my dear friend. So sorry that I really do not have the ability to free you from your webby demise. Hopefully those whiny mages will find themselves face to face with some mini-spiders. NOW I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO HEAL.

*FLASH!* ~Heal~ *FLASH!* ~Heal~

Don’t worry Yusuf. My mace may miss on occasion, but my heals are always glorious.

Dual spec was a wonderful thing for me. I didn't realize how little damage I did as a holy priest until i doubled up with shadow. I don't generally fill the dps spot in raids (though I have a handful of times), and there are plenty of reasons for that.

One, I know the fights from a healing perspective. It's not that I'm not paying attention to the fight explanation, mind you. But the details of who to kill first, kill order, when to AoE and when to not do so... those are not details to which I've paid any attention. So even though, in theory, I know all the Naxx, VoA, EoE, and Sarth fights (haven't touched Ulduar yet), I am not the person who explains the fight to others. I know the details of what I should be doing as a healer. I know who is taking damage when, and I can assign healing duties. Don't ask me who to kill first.

Two, it is ingrained in me to heal. I've been doing it so long, I just can't stop. I'm not as bad on my shadow priest, because it requires me to pop out of shadow form. However, on my pally, even when I force myself to dismantle healbot, I can't resist healing at least myself, if not others. Especially since, as Ret, I get instant flash heals all the time. I don't really pay too much attention to healing or dps meters, but I know that my dps suffers considerably as Ret because... I keep trying to heal.

I'm awful at melee, I truly am. There's all this stuff going on on the screen and i'm just bashing my head against the keyboard hoping I hit something. Most of the time I'm out of melee range, and very confused. I can't figure out what's going on. See, health bars are relatively stationary. I keep my eyes glued to one spot. There's no dancing all over the place, having to worry about if I'm standing 1 inch one way or another. Maybe it's why I also suck at pvp.

And I have a deep, dark confession to make. I am a keyboard turner. ::weep:: I am doomed to failure at melee.

So if you should invite me along to a raid, and ask me to dps, just be prepared. If a healer dies, it doesn't matter how high my dps is (which, as Ret, is generally pretty high in a place like Naxx) - I'm going to start healing. I just can't help myself. I suppose from a RL mentality, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. I personally think it's good to have a few backup healers, people who can help out in a pinch. And in the same way that it's crucial you have an off-tank who is paying attention and can pick up adds without being directed to do so, I believe it's a good thing to have off-healers who can do the same.

Or maybe that's just me trying to justify my awful dps.

You know how I mentioned previously that several of us raiders in my alliance have exchanged phone numbers? That way if something comes up we can contact one another?

Well, that only works if you answer the phone.

I checked my voicemail yesterday. For the first time in a month. And lo and behold, the Grand Master Raid Leader Poobah had left me a voice mail (2 weeks ago mind you) saying he wouldn't be able to make it to the raid that night. I was so confused when the message started, and figured it was a wrong number, because I didn't recognize his voice.

Good thing he left a long message, because after awhile I finally realized that not many wrong numbers would leave me a message talking about Thaddius.

I have this theory that every now and then, just to stir things up, Blizzard completely redesigns a class or spec that doesn't get played often, just to get more people to play it. They buff it and make it crazy awesome so that more people will roll that class, and then later on, when there are plenty of people playing the class to equalize the numbers a bit, they nerf it back to a reasonable level.

Some classes they just completely redesign, and give a whole new meaning. Back in the day, and by "day" I mean Burning Crusade, priests generally specced discipline for 1 of 2 reasons. 1. Just far enough to get Divine Spirit, since it was a talented spell, and not baseline (I was one of those). 2. For pvp awesomeness.

Since around the time of Wrath being released, however, Disc priests took on a whole new meaning, and a whole new role. No longer are you simply the durable healer for pvpness. Now you are a rockin' healer with a whole new twist that makes you unique, a la druid. Druids even out damage, creating a smoother ride. What makes Disc priests unique is not their healing abilities - it's their damage mitigation abilities. Now we have a real competitor for the powerful single-target Pally heals, but in a completely new light. It's more about preventing damage in the first place. What a novel idea, eh?

I am fascinated by Disc priests, and they are the hot new thing in healing. I think what has probably promoted this more than anything, honestly, is Matticus. He helped inform and instruct a whole new generation of Disc priests. I am seriously considering dropping my shadow spec and dual speccing holy and disc. The only two things that are really stopping me are 1. Holy gear and Disc gear needs are different, and therefore my awesome holy gear is not so awesome for disc and 2. Although we have something of a shortage of healers in my raiding alliance, of the healers we DO have, there is no shortage of pallies. What we don't need is more single-target healing. Therefore, I doubt I'd get much of a shot to try out Disc in a raiding environment.
Now that I think about it, for as popular as Disc priests seem to be if you read all the blogs, I actually have yet to raid with one. We pull in various people from various guilds quite often in our raids, and though we have managed to snap up quite a few priests, not once have we had the honor of a Disc priest. I specifically ask every priest what spec they are if it's not obvious (ahem, shadowform), because it changes the healing assignments.

In closing, I require you to bow before the power of the bubble. Everyone has probably already seen it, since Matticus linked it on his blog, but I'm still giggling days later. I sorta have a *thing* for flow charts and spreadsheets and lists, oh my.

Random thought of the Day: If you floss with minty floss, and then eat a fortune cookie (thereby defeating the purpose of flossing) you taste a minty fortune cookie, and it's delish!

A minor patch is coming in today. Not much to say about it really, but for those of you who, like myself, are blocked from most fun websites at work, here is the text of the patch, according to wow.com (formerly WoWInsider).

World of Warcraft Client Patch 3.1.3

The latest patch notes can always be found at http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/patchnotes/
The latest test realm patch notes can always be found at http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/patchnotes/test-realm-patchnotes.html

Death Knights

• Frost Presence: Armor bonus is now 60% down from 80%.
  

Druids

• Improved Barkskin: This talent now also grants 80/160% additional armor while in Travel Form or not shapeshifted.
  
• Improved Tree of Life: The armor bonus to Tree of Life Form from this talent has been reduced to 67/133/200% bonus armor.
  

Hunters

• Hunter's Mark: The ranged attack power bonus from this ability has been increased from 300 to 500.
  
• Master Marksman: This talent now also decreases the cost of Aimed Shot and Chimera Shot by 5/10/15/20/25%.
  

Paladins

• Eye For An Eye: This talent now deals 5/10% of the critical strike damage taken by the paladin back at the attacker.
  
• Hand of Freedom: The base duration of this buff has been reduced from 10 seconds to 6 seconds.
  

Rogues

• Overkill: Talent redesigned. Now increases energy regeneration by 30% while stealthed, and for 20 seconds after breaking stealth.
  

Warlocks

• Chaos Bolt: This spell no longer ignores damage reduction effects of the target.
  

Warriors

• Blood Frenzy: This talent now provides 5/10% haste instead of 3/6%.
  
• Bloodthirst: Cooldown reduced from 5 seconds to 4 seconds, and rage cost reduced from 30 rage to 20 rage.
  
• Juggernaut: This talent now also increases the cooldown on Charge by 5 seconds.
  

Items

• Death Knight PvP Gauntlets: The chance to refresh a Frost Rune when casting Chains of Ice has been removed. When equipped, these gloves now generate 5 additional runic power whenever Chains of Ice is used.
  

Dungeons

• Ulduar
  
  
  
  • Mimiron
    
    
    
    • The flight time of Rocket Strikes has been increased, and Rocket Strikes will try to prefer players at range.
      
    • The Leviathan Mk II component of the V-07-TR-0N will become stunned during Phase 4 when the VX-001 component begins to cast the P3Wx2 Laser Barrage ability.
      
    • Proximity mines now deal less damage and have a lower duration. A small arming time has also been added so proximity mines will not immediately detonate on creation.
      

Bug Fixes

• Druid Tier 8 Balance Set: The 4-piece bonus no longer has its effect consumed by Starfire casts in progress when it triggers. The chance for the effect to be triggered has been reduced down to 8%, as it was originally inflated to compensate.
  
• Ice Layered Barrier: Upgraded to item level 232. In addition, the stats in the tooltip have been correctly adjusted to 78 spell power, 48 haste rating, 16 mana per 5 seconds, 52 Intellect, and 50 Stamina.
  
• Pulsing Spellshield: The stats listed in the tooltip for this item were incorrect and have been adjusted. This item provides 69 spell power, 34 haste rating, 42 critical strike rating, 45 intellect, and 45 stamina.

The only thoughts I have on any of these minor changes would be for the barkskin for Resto Druids. It may look like a complete nerf, but I think they are trying more to equalize armor value over the different shapes. Don't worry, my happy little trees, you will still be wonderfully useful in the back with the kiters during the Gluth fight!

For everyone who is NOT a holy paladin, remember back in the days when you would roll your eyes at critical strike rating on gear? "Oh just give it to the mages, blech." While it was always a matter of personal preference, it took Blizzard a long time to figure out how to make crit worth anything to healers.

The philosophy against crit to which I always adhered before Wrath, was that while a crit heal may be nice, fancy, and powerful, you cannot rely on it. Often many healing crits just get into the realm of overheals, at which point, it's worthless. Not a "waste" necessarily, because it did not cost you anything to get that extra BOOM in your heal, but rather pointless. Except in some situations, you do not get to decide when your heal will crit. A notable exception would be for Holy Pallies with Divine Favor.

If you knew when your heal were going to crit, it would be very different. Maybe I would use a crit Flash Heal over a more expensive, longer casting Greater Heal. But, because I cannot predict when a crit will happen, I cannot afford to only use a flash heal and some crossed fingers to heal up the tank when she's taking a lot of damage. The problem with critical heals is that you cannot rely on them, and therefore when you are healing, you must work on the assumption that you will get no critical heals in order to be safe. Better safe than wipe.

But Blizzard wants us to use crit, and changed our talent trees. Most notably, IMO, for priests was the change in Surge of Light. It used to be that Surge of Light would only give you a free Smite proc, but now they've added flash heal, which makes it incredibly useful. Free and instant cast? I'll take some of that. Even more recently, the changes in Holy Concentration. I preferred the old version that gave us mana back when we overhealed (which in turn made crits less worthless - if you crit and overheal, you got mana back), but regardless, the point still stands. Crit is now worth it. Everything is crit happy. Even our HoT, Renew, can now crit. I stack crit like crazy now.

Yet, I still can't help thinking that the original philosophy remains applicable. If I were to look at the healing done over an entire night, sure, it seems that crit heals are a substantial part of my throughput. But in the heat of the moment, you still can't rely on it. If I pop a glyphed Circle of Healing, I'm almost guaranteed at least one crit, and therefore one free flash heal. But almost guaranteed is still not an actual guarantee. I'm not going to be one of those QQing forum posters that whines all about how OBVIOUSLY no one at Blizz playes a healer class. However, I do wonder how much the developers understand that fundamental philosophy.

Long story short? Crit is nice and fancy, but is still not reliable. Designing a class spec based around a dependence on crit is therefore just asking for trouble.

The hullabaloo about the potential Illumination nerf is a perfect example of that. This post has already gone on too long (even for me), so I will summarize the Illumination nerf arguments, and my thoughts about it, in a later post.

On a Friday several weeks ago, my boyfriend fiance was having a light conversation with some of his work-mates regarding weekend plans. When asked what he was going to do that weekend, he told them he would be playing World of Warcraft with me. They laughed at him, and teased him about it, which I find very ironic, considering they all work together at a company that makes and produces games.

My shmexy Death Knight beau didn't bat an eye. "What are you going to do this weekend? Watch football? Does your wife enjoy watching football with you?" This quickly shut them up. You can call us dorky gamers if you like, but at least we've found something we enjoy doing together. Sure, maybe we could have healthier hobbies. I really respect that his parents go bike-riding together every weekend. However, me on a bike = epic fail, and in fact, most activities that require some sort of coordination or grace are out of my reach.

We spend a lot of time playing WoW. We probably spend way too much time playing WoW. But it is one of the few hobbies that we both really enjoy. We spend our gaming time with our friends - both IRL friends and in-game friends. It annoys me when people who are not gamers scoff at the idea of me considering these people my friends. Why? Because we don't get drunk together at a club on Friday nights? You may look at it as some digital alternative reality where i am friends with a bunch of ones and zeroes, but the truth of the matter is that behind that 3d model is a real person, who already has shown they share an interest with me. I have been friends with some of these people for over 3 years. When someone doesn't show up for a raid, we have their phone number, and we call to make sure they are okay. When I've been down on my luck, or truly depressed, I've had many long discussions with some of my WoW friends. If friendship is about having companionship and communication with someone who cares, then there is absolutely no reason why WoW players cannot fulfill that need for one another.

The fiance and I have been playing together for awhile, but I did start playing before him, and the guild I was in before he and his friends started playing Alliance side on our server was founded mostly by pairs of people. Therefore I know several couples who play the game together, which has prompted one of my single guild-mates to suggest that I must be leading the Lothar Swingers Club. That's not really my dish, but hey, I can see how it might look that way to others. In the same way that couples who frequent parties together might become fast friends with other couples, we do the same thing in WoW.

Except that our dinner parties are fish feasts.

The title is a reference to my famous inability to remember to swap my fishing hat with my healing cowl. I blame outfitter. Srsly.

I was having a debate the other day with my death knight/mage fiance about healing, prompted by some fairly heated comments I left on Ful's blog. I was explaining to him why certain things matter to healers that other people don't even seem to consider. Then the thought struck me - maybe I'm just not a very good healer.

I don't say that to fish for compliments, or even in a self-deprecatory manner. I really don't know. If the only real way to tell for sure if a healer is doing their job is to say "well, no one is dead", then I guess most of the time I'm doing a decent job. If you use a healing meter to evaluate my mad skillz, then I probably do okay there too. Until you look at overheals. I could just sit there and spam prayer of healing for the hell of it, or out of boredom, you know.

It's a common problem raid leaders and healing leads have: evaluating the performance of a healer. If a healer is doing a great job, then they may not even be noticed. Some healers throw out giant heals (mmmm Holy Light), and others are there to keep you from taking any damage in the first place (just ask Matticus or any other Disc priest). And there are plenty of times when even the best healers cannot prevent a total wipe.

How do you evaluate the skill of the healing player? Beyond the gear and the stats, there is communication. It is important for healers to communicate with one another, in addition to the healing targets. I know I'm constantly whispering back and forth with other healers during our raids, and with the tank. Granted, most of the time she and I are trying to come up with rules for a new Naxx drinking game, but sometimes we actually do discuss when she seems to be taking the most damage, how she can avoid it (if possible), and how I can react healing-wise or mitigate if possible. Is she not getting healed up enough before the tank-toss in the Thaddius fight? She can't prevent that - but I can. And if I personally can't, I can send a tell to a healer on the other platform and tell them to throw more HoTs before the toss.

Attitude and diplomacy is important as well, as far as I'm concerned. Calling someone out for standing in the pool of NoobDeath may be necessary, but you can find nice ways to do it. You can announce to the whole raid "be sure to watch out for NoobDeath!", but you don't need to point fingers, and name specifically who is doing it. It just upsets people and makes them defensive most of the time. If they still aren't getting it, you can send them a whisper - "Hey I know it can be hard to see the NoobDeath because of Death Knights' Death and Decay, but I won't be able to heal through that, so you'll have to keep a close eye out for it. :)"

Words of Wisdom: Always use a smiley face when telling people they suck.

Probably the most important skill is reaction time. The best healers have the best reflexes, and that can be a tricky skill to perfect. That frost blast on KT is a perfect example. I cannot predict who is going to get blasted. Waiting for someone to call out that they are blasted is waiting too long - vent has lag. The best indicator for me is when anyone takes a sudden drop in health. This is probably why I don't really know what the KT fight looks like. I'm too busy glaring at health bars. Even though I love Circle of Healing, and use it gratuitously, I take care with it during KT to make sure that I don't have to wait for the cooldown when someone gets hit with Frost Blast. Circle of Healing, talented Renew, and they are usually okay, as other heals from other healers are starting to hit.

I know I'm a decent healer. But seriously, what makes a healer truly great? Now that I've started to ask myself this question, I'm going to begin paying more attention. When you have a raid on farm, and it's mostly cake for everyone, that's not the time to be able to judge how good a healer is - that's when you can judge if a healer is really crappy.

At this point, all I really know? At least I'm not crappy! :) :)

(See what I did there? Yeah.)

In the real world, I am a professional student. That basically means I get paid (not much, mind you) to sit around and think, and then write papers about what I think, and then tell everyone else how smart I am because of all the things I think. It's a pretty sweet gig for lazy bums such as myself.

As a graduate student in a field that is constantly beset with identity crises and inner political squabbles, there is a lot of debate regarding theory versus application. On one side you have the supporters of applied science who think theory is for those people sitting in an ivory tower who just want to make a living sitting around thinking. On the other side you have the critical theorists in their posh armchairs who think that applied scientists are not asking the right questions, and because they do not reflexively consider their research, they are not actually contributing to the field of knowledge.

I fall somewhere in the middle. I believe theory is important to understanding a lot of what we do, why we do it, and the best way to do it. At the same time, if we rely completely on theory, it will never match the reality of what we do.

Why have I rambled about academia in a blog focused on healing in WoW? I assure you, I have my reasons. Anyone who spends any time over at the ElitistJerks forum knows that there are plenty of WoW players out there who love the mathematical side of playing this game. They can come up with an equation for anything, and tell you exactly how you should spec, exactly what gear you should be wearing, the precise rotation for your spells, and every single enchant and gem you should use. With greek symbols and wws reports as their weapons, they will easily strike down any n00b who insists that lolsmite is a viable spec. That is why they are unabashedly Elitist Jerks.

Somewhere along the line, "playing a game" transformed from doing what you enjoy for the pure fun of it, and applying for another job, where you beef up a resume that includes every talent point, gem, enchant, and your specific spell rotation. We've been told exactly how we should play this game, and if we don't do it the way the math and theorycrafting says we should, then we obviously need to learn2play.

The problem with theory is that behind the healer, or the DPSer, or the tank in the raid is an actual, real-life, human being. You can't bot everything. Sometimes my index finger gets itchy, and I hit Circle of Healing, when I know damn well that the tree over there just cast Rejuvenation. Talent points were intended to take basic classes and give the players flexibility to match their playstyle. Sometimes when you get so bogged down by how you should be playing, what spell the math tells you you should cast at this exact moment, you forget all about the fact that the character you are playing is a representative of you. You can come up with all kinds of ideal stats and situations in which you should use and do such and such. But, in the heat of the moment, you may do something different, and all that math you so meticulously researched is pointless. It is based upon you using the exactly proper sequence in an ideal situation.

The Value of Theory

All that having been said, theorycrafting is incredibly helpful in many situations. I used to be so concerned about having the exact amount of haste, crit, and spellpower that EJ insisted was necessary. I spent so much time doing the math, I forgot the entire point - to be a better player. So, now, I don't worry about the exact numbers. I read up on the theory, get an idea about what works best in different situations, and try to get in the general vicinity. I have a rough goal of around 2k spellpower, a certain amount of haste, and a certain amount of crit. I used to gem everything for spirit, but now with the changes to mana regen and other facets of class changes, EJ tells me I should gem for intellect instead. As much as it pains me to loosen my grasp on that spirit stat, I now gem and enchant for intellect when it makes sense. And if I hadn't read so much theory about what stats are best for priests, I would have always stacked mp5. I would still be gemming for stamina like I did with my Primal Mooncloth set back in BC.

Understanding concepts is more important than memorizing numbers. Knowing that spirit is a decent stat for mages and warlocks in addition to priests and druids makes me not hate my lockly friends for rolling on gear I want. It reminds me to keep divine spirit on them as well. Knowing that a good balance of SP, mana regen, haste and crit is more important that memorizing the number I "should" achieve before progressing past Naxx25.

I wouldn't understand the concepts if I didn't read the theory. But I'm still going to keep my Lightwell. And I'm still going to forget to cast Guardian Spirit a lot of the time. Even before the changes to downranked heals, I never bothered downranking. I'm still in the habit of bunching my heals and then taking breaks in an effort to regen my mana - even though, in theory, I know that isn't very useful anymore.

So if you look over to the left on my blog, you'll note that I have four characters listed. I actually have way more toons, as I have a history of being a little alt addicted. The four characters listed to the left, however, are part of my personal project to have a healer of every class.

This idea was prompted by the fact that during our alliance raids, I usually assign heals (when it's needed - many of our healers don't really need assignments). As I started looking details up about different healing spells used by different classes, it occurred to me that I take the responsibility of assigning heals very seriously. Also, I don't really assign heals as much as organize them. But in order to do even that task well, you really do need to have a basic fundamental understanding of each healing class. Even just knowing the basics (AoE - holy priest, shammy, druid, Single target - Pally, disc priest) helps, but I really want to master the art of healing in WoW. I want to be able to give advice to another healer about which abilities to use when. It's not some egotistical thing where I want to have the ultimate power.

I enjoy playing a healing priest so much, why wouldn't I enjoy trying out the other healing classes? It seems as good a reason as any to pick one class over another for an alt. I already had a fairly high level pally, Elimeny (my original main). And now that Jessabelle was 80, exalted with all the main factions, maxed out professions, progressing steadily through raids, and with plenty of gold to line her pockets, it seemed like as good a time as any to start leveling some healing alts.

So I started by using some of my extra Emblems of Heroism to pick up the Heirloom plate shoulders that give a 10% bonus to xp while leveling for my pally. Once I had a few more extra emblems, I bought the nice heirloom healing mace. I started by maxing out my Pally - before WotLK came out, she was already level 69, so I set her to work running a few instances to pop up a couple of levels. After level 75, however, she leveled almost purely through dailies. By the time she hit 80, she had a pretty decent reputation start with several factions, which allowed her to pick up a couple of nice items.

Unfortunately, those heirloom plate shoulders won't do much good for a druid or shammy, so in the meantime, I'm saving up my emblems of heroism to buy some new heirloom XP shoulders for my two low level healer alts. I have a nice healing mace that I can swap between both of them when needed, but for the most part, I'm speccing them for leveling efficiency. Once I get them to higher levels, I'll worry about speccing them more specifically for healing.

Lessons learned so far? The biggest one that I've had to overcome with having just two high level healers: Retraining muscle memory. I use healbot while raiding, and I don't even have to think anymore about what mouse/key combination to hit for each spell on my priest. Keep in mind, also, Priests have quite a few different healing spells. I have roughly ten different combinations that my fingers needed to memorize on healbot. Therefore, using the same combinations for different spells for my Pally took a lot of retraining. I had to carefully choose my key combinations, so that Divine Sacrifice was not tied to the same combination used for Flash Heal on my priest!

After much tweaking, I assigned similar spells to each combination. Thus, flash heal = flash of light, Holy Light = Greater Healing, Holy Shock = Renew, Divine Shield = Sacred Shield, and Lay on Hands = Guardian Spirit, among others. This has helped tremendously, and as I (very slowly) level my other healing alts, and add more healing spells to their repertoire, I'm trying to use a similar philosophy.

The best part about having alts that are healers is that I can bring my alts to a raid with no real complaint. While Jessabelle is undoubtedly the best geared, if we are doing an easier raid, there is rarely any issue with me bringing Elimeny instead. Replacing a healer with another healer is usually not a problem. In our alliance we seem to have quite a few Pally healers, whereas Jessabelle is one of the few priest healers, however, so usually I'm bringing her anyway. But, whereas before I really was not interested in doing 10 man Naxx or any heroics, despite how much my guild or alliance mates begged me, now I have new momentum - a new character to gear and learn that still fills the same role everyone expects from me.

I am really looking forward to the day when our alliance can have a choice of healer classes, and not just be desperate for any type of healer. If I have an assortment of four different types of healers, then we have at least one healer who can switch off and fulfill any particular healing role. While some people who do not really understand the strengths and weaknesses of different healers may think it is a moot point, as we progress in our raids, it becomes even more important to have a few choices of healing classes.

Several months ago, whilst surfing the internet in an ill-fated attempt to avoid all real responsibility, I ran across a blog post that discussed different types of healers. Not the different World of Warcraft healing classes, mind you, but the actual players behind the toon. What makes some people love healing, while so many others would never even consider it? I wish I could find the original post and link to it from here, and if I ever do find it again, I will come back and add it. The idea is that there are some people who will heal only when they have no real other choice (as in, the raid shall not commence without another healer). I see this type of healer all the time, and indeed I think most healers fall in this category. They run the risk of healer-burnout. Another type is that of the come-to healer. They originally enjoyed the DPS or tanking role, and then healed once or twice to help out, and fell in love with it.

I fall into the third category. Always was a healer, always loved it, always will be. I will occasionally DPS in a raid if there is a need for it, but usually I'm happy to let the other healers who are more at risk of burnout take on the task. My first WoW toon was a paladin - pre 2.4, when paladins were very different than how they are today. I was truly awful, but hey, it was my first character.

Then I started playing a dwarf priest. I actually leveled holy. I raided holy. Until dual spec became available only recently, I never specced shadow, and never bothered with deep disc either.

I have a Holy Paladin friend whom I met when I first started playing WoW, and she explained it to me once over a few ales in a Stormwind bar. She said that she had always loved healing, and it reflected her personality in ways that other roles did not. She is a healer through and through, heart and soul. It is the role she aspires to fulfill in both her real life, and in game. And though I did not really excel at healing until much later with my Dwarven Priest, I completely agree with her. I'm not always the kindest person in real life, and though I may often be selfish, I always try to heal everything I can - friends, family, and complete strangers.

I often think that the roles and classes we choose to play in the gaming world reflect the desires and aspirations of our true personalities. Sometimes it matches perfectly with how we are in real life, and sometimes it reflects a deep seated desire - something we wish we could be, something we would really enjoy, if we were able to truly exist and live in this fantasy world in which we spend so much of our leisure time.

I wanted this to be my first post in my new blog (encouraged by Fulguralis) for that reason exactly. I did not start healing so that I would always be invited to raids and instances. I didn't start doing it because I had to, or because one day I was asked to do so, and realized that I enjoyed it. I heal because I've always healed; Because it's who I am, and it may be the only thing at which I truly excel.