Showing posts with label zomg social theory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zomg social theory. Show all posts
Strong Enough for a Member of Humanity
I feel that in my rantiness of my original post, there were some things I didn't make particularly clear. I do appreciate the outcry of support that followed, mind you, but I wanted to clarify some of the things I said to make sure that it was understood and not misinterpreted.

A lot of times, those of us who point out sexism or talk about feminism don't always point out why feminism is important for more than just women. Often people will say it's important to men because of how it affects the women close to them whom they care about, but it's more than even just that. The term "feminism" is misleading in modern times. It leads many to believe that it's all about bringing power to women, and bringing men down. The thing is, it's really not, though I know that it can come off that way.

Feminism, as a movement, certainly did begin in an effort to bring more equality to women. But the movement was so huge that it expanded to look at all forms of inequality between peoples - not just for women. It was a new way of thinking about things - based on the apparently novel concept of actually thinking about things. About not accepting things simply because that's how it's always been done. Challenging the very primal beliefs that we have about ourselves and others; about superiority and power dynamics.

Even if you disagree with someone about what they consider sexist, even if you think people take it to the extreme, even if you don't see something as offensive that another might, even if you feel that deep down there are fundamental differences between genders, and even if you don't believe that - the point is that by joining in on the discussion, you were required to actually think about it in the first place. And even if you come to the conclusion that everything is okay, you have wedged your mind open just a little bit more to at least consider the notion that there is a reason to reconsider things we've always taken as truth. Part of why mentalshaman's deconstruction of sexism in WoW is so important is not because we're all chomping at the bit to say "Yeah, sexist bastards!" and poise for attack - it's to make us look at things and actually think about them. Maybe some of the details are unfair, and maybe some aren't. But it's definitely worth at least considering. It's not about angrily ripping the world we love apart, but more about looking at it more carefully so that we don't get lost in a fantasy within a fantasy world. If you never challenge your own assumptions about the world around you, you will always be in the mindset of a five year old who simply takes everything presented as undeniable fact.

What feminism has truly brought to us, whether you like it or not, is the ability to challenge those long-held beliefs. And it is continually evolving and expanding as we look at new things we never thought about. Before I began studying feminism, it never occurred to me how internalized these concepts are of what makes a man a man, and what makes a woman a woman. You don't have to have children to be a woman. And you don't have to be the breadwinner to be a man.

So you see, the reason it is important is not just because women should be treated equally. It goes beyond that - if women are treated equally to men, then by default at the very least, men should be treated equally to women. If a woman steps up and says that it doesn't make her less feminine to work in the coal mines, then that means a man can stand up and say he's always wanted to be a nurse, and that doesn't make him less masculine. What it's NOT about is saying "well men have to put up with it too, so it all evens out and everything is fine!" No. The fact that men have to deal with it too is what makes it LESS FINE. Not because they are men and therefore it should be more important, but because it means that even MORE people are being subjected to the discrimination and judgment that comes from the same source. And the more people who take the time to deconstruct these long-held beliefs, the more people who will treat others as human beings who have a right to live their lives how they choose without the very tenents of their identity being questioned or ridiculed. Everyone is affected by sexism to some degree, whether they are male or female: and therefore everyone has a justification for standing up in opposition to it.

I don't think it's fair that when I was a delivery driver my boss didn't want me to take deliveries to certain neighborhoods - and I sure as hell don't think it's fair that because of that, he made one of the cooks (who was about half my size, had half as much knowledge of the area, and was twice as terrified) go do it instead - just because he was male. It wasn't just an insult to me as a female - in fact I think it was even more hurtful to him as a male. I just got pissed off. He was put into a dangerous situation he was much less equipped to handle.

There are studies all over the place that suggest men are less likely to get medical treatment for physical or mental disorders, and therefore die earlier on average than women... because they are raised to believe that a "real man" will simply "power through it". You shouldn't feel like less of a man for taking care of your health. No one has a right to make you feel that way - not your wife, not your parents, but most of all, not the whole of society at large.

Perhaps you like the traditional chivalrous customs, such as holding the door open for your date, or buying her dinner. But you should have a choice to be that way - not feel as though you are forced into it by what society tells you you ought to do in order to be a proper man. I don't like assumptions, and when I was dating, I brought money to pay for dinner. I at least offered to pay and presented the man in question with the choice. That wasn't just for my benefit. If someone wants to buy me dinner, I want them to do it because of me as a person - not just because I'm a chick.

A few weeks ago in Wintergrasp, while farming for eternals, there was an argument going on in general chat. One individual was antagonizing another about their PvP gear. I was already getting riled up in my indignant and self-righteous anger, but then, the antagonizer in question called the subject of his harassment a dude - to which the "dude" replied that she was female.

Suddenly his entire tone changed. Immediately after she replied that she was female, he apologized, and started using proper grammar and spelling, and being very polite and friendly. She was obviously confused about his change in behavior, but I was utterly enraged. Maybe it was silly of me too, because I had just been about to give him hell for being a jerk... but now that he decided he was going to be all nicey nice because she was female, I was even ANGRIER.

"Why exactly are you apologizing?!"
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize she was female."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Well, I wouldn't have been so rude."
"Screw you! Go forth and be rude freely! She can take it just as well as if she were male. You weren't willing to stop being a dick for the sake of, you know, not being a dick, but now that you realize she's a girl, you're suddenly willing to be a decent human being?"
"lol"
"What? Do you think the corsets we're wearing make us more fragile and susceptible to your asshattery? Did she bat her eyelashes at you in such a way that you suddenly felt shame for your poor behavior? Oh sir, ahm just so sahrry for steppin' into your big manly brain, ah jes' can't keep up with your phallic wit and chahrms!"

At this point every female in the zone started chiming in.

I actually did feel kinda bad about that. In his defense, he was obviously very embarassed, but he took it like a champ, especially since he'd been such a dick before. Truth is, I don't think it occurred to him that a bunch of girls might not appreciate the fact that he was suddenly nicer just because of their gender. It was like he suddenly was embarassed for his behavior now that he realized his audience was made up of a bunch of people with whom he might at some point want to flirt.

You should be a courteous person to both men and women because it's the right thing to do as a human being. If you say you're going to be nicer to girls, then effectively you're saying you're going to be meaner to men. While I'd prefer you just be nicer, period, I'd at least like to know that you aren't treating the men any shittier than you're treating me. It may immediately benefit me more that you are being nicer to me, but I don't think it's right that you are meaner to someone else, just because they are male. Be nice to me because I deserve it, not because rumor has it there are breasts underneath my clothes.

See, I'm not an angry bitter female. I'm just a pissed off member of humanity.
Life of a Chinese Gold Farmer
I ran across this article from the New York Times in a chat a few weeks ago, and as a short little Sunday post, I thought I would share it with you.

The Life of the Chinese Gold Farmer

Of course, by posting this article, I am not saying I approve of gold-selling, or that I disapprove of it. I do, however, find it fascinating.

Ever find yourself wondering what a job farming gold would be like? Sometimes my dedication to the game does feel like a job. Whenever I start to feel like that, I know I need to take a break, and gain a bit of perspective.

I would hate for my fun leisure activity to leave me feeling like a Chinese Gold Farmer!!
The Role of Your Hippocampus In Oculus

You probably thought I was done in bashing Oculus. Oh how wrong you were. MWAHAHAHA. If you are not interested in psychology of gameplay, you may just want to skip this post, or at least just scroll on down to the very last section. You’ve been forewarned. Please don’t stop subscribing to Miss Medicina just because I find psychology of gameplay a worthy wall of text topic. This is what happens when instead of writing my thesis, I wax poetic on World of Warcraft.

In response to my own post yesterday, I can answer my title question quite easily. “Why Occulus is a Failure?” Because even some of us grammar Nazis just can’t spell it. Sigh. Thank you Shintar for pointing out my egregious error. Even Larisa gave me some light teasing, and informed us all who Occulus really is. If I had not misspelled Oculus in the title of the post itself, I would go back and correct my spelling, but now it’s out there, and everyone whose spelling I have criticized can redirect me to it.

Earlier I touched upon the problems with Oculus in regards to the Vehicle Mechanic. I stand by my hypothesis that this is one of the major issues influencing the overall failure of Oculus as an instance, but I wanted to post separately about something that was brought up in the comments that has also contributed to its failure.

Many people mentioned that their biggest struggle with this instance has nothing at all to do with learning the abilities of a new vehicle, and more related to flying. Oculus and Eye of Eternity phase 3 are both three dimensional fights. That is to say, they not only require you to properly move left, right, forward and back, but also up and down. For some of us this is a more serious problem than for others.

Traditionally our game fights are horizontal. Adding that extra vertical element can either be perceived as a welcome challenge that adds a lot to the fight for some, or a vertigo inspiring nightmare for others. I fall into the latter category. I won’t even talk about PvP fighting in Aion. Regardless, I don’t blame Blizzard. No, I blame my hippocampus.

The Hippocampus

First I will draw you a pretty picture that shows where your hippocampus is. By the way, I’m totally accepting commissions for my now famous MSPaint diagrams.

So what does your Hippocampus do? Well, to be honest, there is still some debate on this, but here’s what scientists currently think the Hippocampus does (simplistically of course). I originally wrote a lot more about the first two duties of the Hippocampus, but if you are interested in that, go to that wiki – I will try to cut this post down only to the relevant material.

· Helps you form new episodic memories.

· Another theory that is apparently not very popular currently is the inhibition function. The idea is that if you have hippocampal damage, you may seem more hyperactive, or have difficulty learning to inhibit your responses to things based on how you first learned to respond. You may seem a little… well, tweaky.

· The most relevant function of the Hippocampus to this post, however, is its role in spatial memory and navigation. This is related to the discovery of what is called “place cells” in the Hippocampus. These are spatial firing fields in the neurons in the Hippocampus, and they are triggered by recognizing your location, the direction you are faced, if you’ve been there before, where you suspect you are heading, etc etc etc.

The discovery of place cells led to the idea that the hippocampus might act as a cognitive map — a neural representation of the layout of the environment… Studies with animals have shown that an intact hippocampus is required for simple spatial memory tasks (for instance, finding the way back to a hidden goal)… the hippocampus plays a particularly important role in finding shortcuts and new routes between familiar places. Some people exhibit more skill at this sort of navigation than do others, and brain imaging shows that these individuals have more active hippocampi when navigating.
(Taken from the Wiki linked above)

Why am I bringing this potentially boring topic into a discussion about flying fantasy drakes? Because I suck at flying in a 3d environment, and I wanted to know why. I get disoriented. I don’t know what direction I’m facing, or where I’m heading. Even though I stated yesterday that the overwhelming problem with Vehicle Mechanic fights is learning the new abilities at the drop of a hat, that’s not actually the biggest issue for me and many others. Sure, I don’t particularly LIKE it, but that’s not enough to make me rudely drop group after landing in Oculus. However, my complete inability to navigate within a 3D environment is. And apparently I’m not the only one.

Do you find yourself getting lost in Oculus? Are you useless flying on your own near Malygos? In spite of all that, are you still pretty good at Flame Leviathon and jousting? If you do not have a problem with vehicle mounts on a flat surface, but struggle in a vertical one this may be your issue. If you have tried to PvP in Aion by flying around, and struggle with it, this may also be your issue. Hippocampal damage can have severe debilitating effects on your spatial navigation system. And it is not uncommon to have some minor degree of Hippocampal damage. It’s not just for people with Parkinson’s or Alzheimers Syndrome.

The Role of Depression in Hippocampal Damage

I’m going to throw some statistics at you, folks. Take them as you see fit – 326% of statistics are bogus, right?

· 15% of the population of most developed countries suffers severe depression.

· 30% of women are depressed. Men's figures were previously thought to be half that of women, but new estimates are higher.

· 80% of depressed people are not currently having any treatment.

· 80% of people who see physicians are depressed.

Basically, all that means is that a lot of people are depressed, a lot of people don’t take it very seriously, and I deliberately did not include the stats on suicide. It’s just too… well, depressing. I will save my soapbox rant about people misunderstanding exactly what depression is for another time, another place. That having been said, I know it’s a controversial topic here in the states, but please do not comment here to tell me all about how people are whiney, and depression is a silly pill-popping conundrum. Link me a peer-reviewed journal article on the topic and I will take you a lot more seriously.

And it probably comes as no surprise to you that a lot of depressed people play MMOs.

I can’t find the actual article Dr. Noshir Contractor wrote, or a copy of the presentation, but it was a pretty hot topic amongst MMO players for while. Here’s the skinny:

· 7,000 players of EverQuest II were surveyed.

· 21% of the players who didn’t play the game that often were depressed.

· 30% of the players who DID play the game often were depressed.

· "This could mean that highly active players get more depressed or that depressed people are more likely to be active role players," said the author of the study, Noshir Contractor, a professor of behavioral science.

One of the reasons Dr. Contractor won my respect is due to that very quote – showing a correlation between two things does not show causality. What that means in layman’s terms is that just because a bunch of depressed people play an MMO does not mean that the MMO makes them depressed. Maybe they play the MMO BECAUSE they are depressed.

Without reading the actual study, I cannot tell you how “playing the game often” was quantified, or how researchers determined who was depressed. I also can’t tell you if folks who play EQ2 are inherently different than those who play World of Warcraft. To someone who doesn’t play these games, we all may be the same. But to those of us who do, there could be vast differences. According to tables shown at mmodata.net, WoW has just over 11.5 million players. Aion is fairly new in North America, and has just south of 3 million players. EQII is listed as having around 200,000 players.

This leaves me wondering… if you surveyed Aion players (a game which is developed around a concept of three dimensional PvP via flying) and compared them to WoW players (which is not), would you see a lot fewer people sticking around to play in the Abyss in Aion if they are depressed? I know, I know, what a logical leap. But this is MY kind of theorycrafting, mmk?

Get to the Point, J-Bizzle

Alright, alright. TLDR like whoa, I know. I find this stuff fascinating. My point in this argument is actually very simple. A lot of people have a problem with Oculus and Eye of Eternity, not because they struggle to learn new vehicle mechanics, but because they struggle with the 3 dimensional, vertical aspect.

I am merely suggesting that since deficiencies in spatial navigation are often connected to problems in the Hippocampus, which is also linked to depression, and that since depression is allegedly more common amongst MMO players than the average population, maybe this isn’t really that big of a surprise. I’m not saying that if you suck at Oculus, you are Hippocampally challenged either. There is truth in the argument that a lot of people hate Oculus simply because they can’t zerg it, and therefore, in an attempt to maximize their badge-grinding time, drop out of it.

The hippocampus is often directly linked to depression.

The hippocampus is also linked to spatial memory and navigation.

Lots of depressed folks play MMOs.

So let’s just go out on a limb here, and say that IF 25% of WoW players suffer from some degree of depression, and IF depression does have a solid link to hippocampal damage, maybe, just maybe, 25% of players struggle with the Oculus because three-dimensional fights are particularly challenging for them.

The other 75% just hate those whelps in the first pull, yo.

Sunday Pug N' Pray: The Graceful Victim
It’s official, the Holidays are OVER. Part of me is sad, the other part is celebrating at a return to some form of normality. However, as every student knows, my life is broken down into a series of semesters or quarters. This semester it appears I will be trying to finish up my thesis (egads), which means I will be home a lot more. Unless I find a rocking job.

Why am I telling you all this? Because while I was working I took great pains to try and post something around 10 am every day. Now, however, though I may post nearly as frequently, it may be at various times of the day. So, stay tuned to see how posting patterns change.

Now, enough of all that jibber jabber. It’s Monday, and that means it’s time to regale you with Sunday’s Pug n’ Pray. Except I was in Cleveland all weekend visiting family… But no matter! I will pull one of my many pug stories from the past out and share it with you, though it is a bit shorter than the usual. They aren’t all LFG tool stories, after all!

This particular story happened the same week as the Perfectest Pug. It actually occurred a few days before, in one of my failed PuG attempts to complete the weekly raid, which was Jaraxxus Must Die.

While we did have a group, we seemed to be short-handed tank wise. The feral druid who had intended to DPS offered to tank in order to help out in case we could not find anyone else. The raid leader took this to mean that the druid felt perfectly competent as the tank, and stopped looking for another tank. We set ourselves to go.

During Northrend Beasts, the druid tank did not turn one of the worms quickly enough, and everyone was splattered, resulting in a slow death, despite the efforts on behalf of the healers to save them. Immediately five separate members of the pug began their shrieks of epeened outrage at the mistake the druid made. The thing is, they didn’t just separately point out the mistake. For a full five minutes each of these DPSers went on and on about what a terrible tank the druid was, what a miserable failure, why did he even wake up that morning?, only a complete moron would make that mistake, and so on and so forth. Finally, the druid noted that he had offered to tank to help out, but was not accustomed to tanking, so he was learning it. Again, several people chided him, saying that everyone knows to turn the boss away from the DPS, and again, they went on about what an absolute moron this guy must be.

Finally, he simply left the group. Cheers went up from the DPS, and immediately they began searching for a new tank. Then I spoke up: “Be sure to find a new healer while you’re at it.” And dropped group. They didn’t like that one too much, as I noticed they were still looking for a tank and a healer for the next hour.

I then sent a tell to the druid, and added him to my friends list. I let him know I thought everyone had been out of line – when someone makes a mistake, even if it does seem to be an obvious and stupid one… usually all you need to do is point it out, ask the player to correct it in the future, and move on. The raid leader could have just booted the guy from the group. Instead, I wasted ten minutes of my very important and exciting life waiting for everyone to finish attacking this druid until he dropped group before they would even consider trying again. Maybe I stuck around so long because I was horribly fascinated by what was going on. In truth, it was also because I wanted to see what this druid would do. In the beginning I even piped up and said that the gratuitous insults were highly unnecessary – I’m sure the druid got the point. I was, of course, completely ignored.

The druid thanked me for my courtesy, and added me to his friends list as well. This all happened several weeks ago, but I ran into that same druid in Ironforge two nights ago. We chatted a bit, and he linked me his current ToC achievement, and told me that he had tanked every one of those fights now, and never had a problem. We laughed about it together, and then went our separate ways.

As far as I am concerned, it doesn’t matter if the tank screwed up, or was a completely awful tank in the first place (which he was not). He made one stupid error (one that, for the record, many tanks have made in that fight), and was ripped apart. Somehow, during the entire time (I have no idea why he stayed in the group as long as he did – some people get really desperate for that weekly quest!), he managed to stay completely calm and polite. If he had responded in a violently defensive manner, I would have paid it very little attention, rolled my eyes, and forgotten about it.

Instead, he took the higher ground, and responded to such inane rudeness with uncharacteristic grace and courtesy. I cannot say I would have reacted as well.
Your entrails would make a fine necklace.
Do you remember the first time you met that weird kid that didn't like chocolate ice cream?

Maybe it happened to you while you were in Elementary School. Dessert for the day consisted of chocolate ice cream cups, and the freak was trying to trade you his chocolate ice cream for your strained peas. Perhaps you thought you were being tricked somehow.

Now, picture the face you gave to non-chocolate-loving-freak kid. That is your "WTF IS WRONG WITCHOO" face.


Fast forward to present day. You're sitting in Dalaran, scanning trade chat for, oh I don't know, something actually trade related (lol noob), and yet another argument breaks out about how people who don't like to PvP are wimps. Or people who don't think the ease with which new raiders can get gear is lame. Or one of yet another bajillion different arguments that all are based on the same thing - one person not understanding WHY or HOW someone can get enjoyment out of a game doing something different than they do themselves.

If we could actually see each other's faces in trade chat (and for the love of God thank everything holy that we cannot) there would be a lot of WTF IS WRONG WITCHOO faces.

Ever had a Tuesday where your server is down, so you figure what the hell and roll up a toon on an RP server? I like to do this on occasion. I'm not really an RPer, but I'm... well, RP-curious, so I like to sneak on their servers and see what people are doing. I confess to being somewhat fascinated... the same way I felt about D&D before I finally started playing. I try to be sneaky and quiet. Not everyone is like that. There is always that teenage kid who plays a rogue on a PvP server who comes to the non-PvP RP server while his is down to roll up a toon and type in all caps in the starter zone general chat various verbal translations of his WTF IS WRONG WITCHOO face. He doesn't get it. He never will, because he's too busy refusing to understand someone else's perspective.

I like to heal. I don't like to PvP. I like to level professions. I like to run dailies. Depending on how the stars align and my mood at any given minute, I like to raid. I get a lot of WTF IS WRONG WITCHOO faces about all those things (particularly the fact that I like to run dailies and level professions) and it leaves me wondering... why? Why do you care how I choose to play my game?

I mean, if it's something that you are genuinely trying to understand (Such as Fuubaar's comment on my post a day or so ago, sincerely asking what the interest is in having multiple players of the same role) then that's fine, and most of the time I am happy to explain. But if, like the PvP rogue who re-rolled on an RP server to ridicule, you have no interest in learning, and simply want to boggle and berate, just GTFO. I'm too busy doing things I genuinely enjoy to try and explain to someone who demands an explanation but has no intention of actually listening to it.

I don't understand why some people like guns, or NASCAR, or expensive makeup or French food that does not fall under the heading of Gumbo, but to each their own. I don't know why weird kid doesn't like chocolate ice cream... but I do know that since he doesn't value it, that makes it easier for ME to get.

But I DO understand why Mortigan made the difficult choice between a guild that will definitely get shit done... and a guild that might struggle to get it done, but will be a lot friendlier in the process.

Gevlon translates everything into opportunity cost - how much money you can make in an hour, for instance. While this makes sense to me, he places no value on the idea of "pleasure" which is in and of itself a perfect example of opportunity cost. I tried the AH game, and I was incredibly bored. I found I much preferred running dailies - no, I don't make nearly as much gold as Gevlon, but I imagine I have just as much fun running my dailies as he does playing the AH - and I place a lot of value on that concept of "pleasure".

Isn't it something of a moot point to debate how people are morons for not maximizing their gold making potential in a game that not only costs money to play, but is, in effect, an absolute waste of time and money? If you place no value on the idea of pleasure, then I must say, the complete hypocrisy with which you chastise someone who does not make as much gold in an activity that translates into absolutely no real world monetary value just boggles my mind. Not that it doesn't make for an interesting read.

I have nothing against hardcore raiders until they take up arms against raiders like me, who will occasionally run at Hodir instead of rezzing dead bodies shrieking "THE LIGHT WILL PROTECT ME" into vent a split second before I go splat. Or the Tree who is bouncing around on flames around Sartharion as everyone else is buffing up, gets thrown right into Sarth, wipes the whole raid, and whispers "Whoops." into vent. The times when I've wiped miserably or had catastrophic failures are so much more memorable to me than the successes, because, let's face it, they were fucking funny. As long as I'm not doing it in your hardcore raid, why do you CARE how I'm goofing around in my own?

I'm glad if you don't like dailies, because that means there is less lag in Icecrown. I'm pleased you hate leveling professions, because that translates into getting more use out of my own. And the fact that you find healing boring means there are more raid slots left for healers such as myself, who love it.

But in the end, all that really matters is that I get all the chocolate ice cream.



Diplomatic Relations
I hate phones.

No really. You likely do not understand or appreciate the depth of my tele-hatred. It goes beyond all reason. In fact, in an effort to encourage me to actually use a phone and be somewhat reachable in an emergency (since my previous cell phone had sat in my purse, dead and unopened for the past 6 months though I still paid the bill), my fiance gifted me an iPhone. It has been largely successful - I answer when someone calls. Most of the time I'm just surfing the internet or playing Civilization though.

I do not do telephone conversations. They frustrate me. Tell me the information I need, and then let's be done with this, eh? The problem with this is that I'm also FEMALE. And for some reason, other females seem to think that, like them, I will enjoy nattering on endlessly on the telephone with them. I DON'T. But no amount of trying to explain this to the other women in this world makes any difference. It is beyond comprehension to them. I guess this is especially the case with my own family.

I called my parents yesterday to tell my father I was thinking of him on Veteran's Day, but unfortunately he was not home. So what followed was an incredibly awkward 45 minute "conversation" with my mother (whom I dearly love, don't misunderstand me) who was trying to get me to be talkative. Every few minutes she would ask me another variation of "What have you been doing lately?", to which I would respond with some new variation of "Absofriggilutely nothing, momma." Our entire 45 minute conversation dragged out like this.

The irony is, from the outside, nothing IS going on. There is nothing going on in which my mother would have any interest, after all. Of course, had I been honest, I could have said something like this...

"Well, I wrote up this survey on my blog for other healers to get to know some information about other healer classes, and it just TOOK OFF and this big website linked to it, and now I feel all this pressure to actually write something decent on my blog (not that I wasn't trying to do that before) and every day there are all these comments, and it's super exciting! I would have thought by now I'd run out of things to write about, but I just keep getting all these ideas! The strangest thing is that I'm not even playing WoW as much as I'd like, because our raiding alliance was going through a rough time, and I've recently decided that perhaps 25 man raiding just isn't worth the effort for me, so I've been working on putting together smaller 10 man groups, but I'm thinking more and more that what I really need to do is just focus on leveling up my other two healers so that I can be more informed when I write about things on my blog, because that's quickly becoming my new passion, although I've been spending so much time on my blog, I haven't invested ANY time on my novel!!!!!"

My mother -> .....

She would be so confused and lost. As a matter of fact, I vaguely mentioned that Friday night we would be having our regular D&D 4th edition session, and that I was considering stopping by for my friends' Saturday night Pathfinder session to learn more about healing classes in tabletop gaming, and there was a stunned silence as my mother struggled to find something to say that would make it sound as though she had any idea what I was talking about. Actually, I think she was trying to figure out if D&D was somehow related to S&M and whether or not she should be horrified.

It's kinda sad, when you think about it, that the S&M would be something more easily understood than the D&D. Or... well maybe it's not sad. Actually maybe it's just creepy, since it's my mother. NAAAAAAAAAH *thinks happy thoughts*

I really did have a point. Somewhere.

Oh yes. Outside of the gaming universe, my life is incredibly dull. I work. Or rather, I go to a place and hope that maybe this time they will give me work. My fiance works. And we come home, maybe watch some TV together, and talk about our hobby, and maybe play some of our hobby - gaming. I suppose I'm a bit spoiled on having people to whom I can relate in regards to my hobby. My fiance is a gamer. All of our friends are gamers. There is never a shortage of people with whom I can discuss gaming.

But now I'm one of those people who, when faced with a non-gamer, has nothing to really talk about. Well, we could discuss politics or religion... two subjects I love that are simply not polite conversation - especially not with my mom. Perhaps if my job were more interesting, I would have more to discuss on that front. But I'm a hobbyist, I'm engaged to a hobbyist, our friends are hobbyists, and I'm left wondering, what do hobbyists talk about with non-hobbyists?

When speaking to a non-gamer, when they ask what you do, it's just "gaming". But that one word encompasses so much. Entire worlds are encapsulated in a two syllable noun. I suddenly have so much more sympathy for folks who play WoW a lot and are in relationships with non-WoWers. I'm really very lucky. I am off in my own little world, this alternate universe. I have likely abandoned all those who do not appreciate this world, or speak the language, and I'm blessed that so many people I *do* care about are on the voyage with me. I never realize how separate this world is until I'm forced to try and conversate with foreigners.



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This Boss Doesn't Drop Epics
This past weekend I was complaining in guild chat about how much I really dislike my job, and miss the days when I was just a lowly cashier at the home depot. One of my longest WoW friends piped in and told me something she learned a long time ago that has helped her get through a bad day in the office, and develop a healthy attitude at work.

Before I divulge the secrets of her genius, I'd actually like to start by pointing out why I like RPGs in the first place, and some of the ways I'm different than many other players.

I have a lot of respect for hard work and long efforts that may only reward small payoff. I've always felt the joy is in the journey, and as feel-good and hippieish as that philosophy may sounds, it's how I play. It's why I don't mind long reputation grinds. It's why I like leveling my toons "the right way". It's why I think people ought to be polite to one another. It's why I enjoy healing, and helping others - but it's also why I dislike giving people gold for no reason, or running lowbies through dungeons on principle. I translate my values from the real world into my game universe. I did this long before I ever started playing WoW, but WoW has definitely been the best reflection of my personal values. Think of it like Gevlon-gone-nicey-nice. After all, even Gevlon's action in game reflect his own personal values.

So in a strange twist, my friend-who-is-like-a-sister told me that she gets into a gaming mindset for work. It sounds kinda backwards, it may even sound like one of those things that gamers get harassed for all the time, the uber geek mentality. But it makes sense to me.

She gears up to go to work. She grinds faction reputation with her coworkers, clients, and bosses. She does her daily quests every day, and pursues various different achievements. Much like WoW is something she plays in a way to enjoy her life, work is a "game" she plays that enables her to enjoy her non-work life. All that reputation and daily grinding can be exhausting and tedious, but it enables her to pursue the other things she truly enjoys. Perhaps she can buy a fancy new mount. She needs a certain steady level of gold for repairs for raiding, and consumables of course. When she meets people that are rude and thoughtless, she reminds herself that she does not have to deal with these people outside of that realm if she does not want to. Much like rude people online, who you will inevitably have to deal with online, perhaps if we're lucky, we only have to deal with the work-jerks while in the office. 

I asked her if that meant if I ran over my boss I would get ten achievement points and a few epics, and she said I might, but then I might also get banned. Damn, there goes that idea.

So I started thinking about this in terms of my current hateful work situation. I am currently employed as an intern - stuffing envelopes, fetching coffee, that kind of crap. So I've decided to think of it like Naxx, or heroics. I strongly dislike both, to be honest, but in this analogy, I need them both to gear up for something better... like Icecrown. Maybe if I run enough stupid heroics and starter-raids (aka internships), I will be better prepared for the real fun, the real goal, Arthas (oh and a job at the US Census Bureau plzkthx).

The idea of going from someone who brings her real world values into a game changing into someone who brings her in-game values into the real world is something of a frightening transformation. Have I gone off the edge of gamer extremism and fantasy world inundation? Am I going to wake up tomorrow, single, unemployed, undateable, living in my mom's basement? No, I don't think so (and it's not just because my Texan parents don't have a basement). Perhaps it's just a coping mechanism. I'm not sure how healthy it is, but surely it's not healthy to go into work and leave work utterly miserable with your life because you hate your job so much, either.

So I think I'll give it a shot. What do you think? Have I gone off the edge? Is this the crowning moment of my avoidant personality disorder? Will the non-gaming faction of the world soon come with the whitecoats and toss me into a padded cell? Am I distorting my real life to accomodate a mere hobby?

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im in ur corthows shardin' ur hats
Couple of random tidbits floating around in my head.

So many bloggers getting involved in NaNo! You are much more courageous than I. I'll try to hold down the fort so you can write your novels this month, and therefore I'll probably be posting a bit more frequently. My usual schedule is about once a day, but I'll probably be making shorter posts a couple of times a day for a few weeks.

Tier 10 preview is out. Rogues continue to leave me gasping for breath as I guffaw rudely. I think Blizz is trying to make Druids happy that their armor can't be seen while they are in form so that they will stop whining. Do you *really* want people to see your gear, Antler Head? Pallies in skirts just make my day. What about the Priest t10? Yawn. Completely and utterly booooooring.

Mongrr made a fabulous post at Save the Lightwell yesterday with all kinds of information refuting common complaints about the love-it-or-hate-it Holy Priest spell Lightwell. I added a link to it on my page discussing the merits of speccing into Lightwell, but the StL post is far superior to my own.

I had a very delightful surprise last night when a healer of the non-squishy variety (!) sent me a tell last night from a level 1 character, offering to help out with the Healer Survey data entry. I might actually take him up on this... I'm going to see how far I can get this weekend, and if progress is still painfully slow, then I may take him up on his offer. If anyone else is interested in helping out with this project, please leave me a comment - I haven't decided if I'm ready to relinquish control of mah baby yet, but I also do want to get it all taken care of.

The Christmas spirit is upon us! Between BBB's Raid for the Cure (which is an awesome event because BBB is not telling everyone they should donate to one organization - you are eligible for the drawing even if you choose a different organization to handle your donation), or blame Syrana for Twitter being so annoyingly popular. Or even better, split your donation to Make a Wish Foundation by giving half of it to Blizzard, and you get a free pet! Wait... did I say that backwards? Ah, well, Freud is a bitch.

More later on endangered talents. The title of this post is a reference to a statement Gordin made regarding the recently ousted mayor of Fifth-Third, Ohi... oops, sorry, Dayton, Ohio. Damn, there's that Freud again.
Philosophy Yes!
Alright, who's buying me this?

World of Warcraft and Philosophy

From Amazon:
Inevitably, such a cultural phenomenon triggers deeper questions. When does an assumed identity become real? Does the Corrupted Blood epidemic warn us of future public health catastrophes? What are the dangers when real life is invaded by events in the game? What can our own world learn from Azeroth’s blend of primitivism and high-tech? In these lively essays, a specially commissioned guild of philosophers, including Yara Mitsuishi, Monica Evans, Tim Christopher, and Anna Janssen, tackles these and other complex questions arising from WoW.


This is so far up my alley I feel a little dirty. WANT.
Update regarding the Healer Questionnaire
Oof! Sorry I haven't been posting any new content over the past couple of days!

Looks like the Healer Questionnaire is a bigger hit than I expected... and I've had my hands full trying to keep track of who all has answered it, and read all the responses.

I've always been of the mindset that in a raiding environment, the best healers (or, if you prefer, the most efficient healers) are the ones who understand at least a little bit about the other healing classes: their strengths, their weaknesses, how some of their major heals work, etc. The larger the healing team, the more varied the healing makeup, the more important this is.

That was the original purpose of this questionnaire for me... I have great interest in understanding all the healing classes, even though I don't seem to have the dedication to really level all of them... but reading through these questionnaires has given me a lot of insight into the different ways each class works - and the variety of ways you can play each one!

One of my major goals is to summarize all this information, and put it together as a handy guide for healing organizers.

I can say this much so far to all the healing leads out there about a healer's biggest pet peeve, since this seems to be the most popular response - STOP TELLING US WHO NEEDS HEALS.
Circle of Healers
If you are participating in the non-memey Healer Questionnaire, you may want to bookmark this post, as this is where I will be keeping track of people who have responded and posted their own answers. Consider it like a Chain Heal... it started with me and went to someone else who will hopefully send it to someone else, and so forth. My hope is that no matter how far out that chain heal extends, I can maintain a list of all the responders here! (See what I did there Zigi? That was for you!) Hopefully the survey will experience some Wild Growth. Ha ha I'm so full of funny. Okay, bad puns aside....

If you know of someone who has responded who is not included on this list, please let me know via comment! Also, if you do post a questionnaire response, it would be great if you linked back to this post so that others can also see who all has answered.

Once this post was linked from WoW Insider, the amount of traffic quickly surpassed my ability to keep up with all the responses (not that I'm complaining!). That having been said, I will continue to try and keep track of the people who have responded on their blogs, as long as you comment and leave me a link! There are also a lot of people who have left their responses in the comments section below, so be sure to check it out.

ETA: Hey look! Koriel at What is Boom started a Circle of Tanks!

ETA: If you are looking for responses in French, pop on over to wowfrostmage, where the generous proprietor has assembled a list - merci!

Holy Priests (Most of us roll Bubbly on occasion):


Disc Priests:

Resto Shammies:

Resto Druids:


Holy Paladin

Overachievers who have too many healers:
Fire Mage: Wait, what? Oh you silly gnomes. First you think you can tank, and then you think you can heal! There's a resto shammy in there somewhere too, but that gnome is stealing all the limelight.

Some time this weekend I am going to totally geek out and... /cue dramatic music.. ANALYZE TEH DATAZ

Stay tuned! I'm trying to keep this updated as quickly as possible! If you notice someone is missing, and it's been more than 24 hours since they posted, please shoot me an email to let me know -> elimeny at gmail dot com.

Thanks!
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