You know how this blog was really supposed to focus on priests and pallies?
Well, see, the way that actually works is that I try to give helpful advice about priests, and present to you my stories of utter fail with my pally. And so, today I would like to showcase a tale of holy pally craptacular goodness.
It was VoA. Voa is a cake walk, I run it every week. Actually, that was part of the problem - because I run it every week on my priest via PuGs, I was saved, and after our little Sunday night 10 man group finished up Naxx, we thought we'd give VoA a try, since we had plenty of time left on Wintergrasp. So, in utter trepidation, I hopped onto my Paladin, with the intent to DPS.
We started with the easiest boss first, and Archavon went down without a hitch. Then we moved towards Emalon.
Our gear and experience on our alts wasn't enough to quite cut it on Emalon, and as I felt somewhat useless flailing about wildly with my giant mace and usually just facing the wrong way anyway (OH HAI WALL), I offered to switch over to heals so we would have three healers.
What followed was a successful takedown of Emalon, sure, but there was a lot of yelling going on in the basement of my home. The druid healer in the raid was my fiance. And he gave the healing assignment, which I did not like (helloooo? that's MY JOB mister. BACK OFF), because when he's leading he just barks out orders and takes control of everything (control freak!) so he put the disc priest, Abigora, on the add tank (aka Ful!), the druid on the MT, and me on the add tank with Abigora. He said he would handle raid heals as well. lolwut. Fine, fine. You look cute in black, so I'll shut up and let you have your way. As a side note, I wonder if there was as much yelling going on over at the Fuus' place as there was at ours? Hmm.
And then the real yelling began. "If you're going to have two MT healers on one tank honey then STOP PUTTING YOUR HOTS ON MY TARGET" to which he yelled that he wasn't paying attention to names, just health. Every time I saw a HoT, I yelled at him, and then he'd yell back insisting it wasn't him, and I remembered that Disc Priests DO have Renew. Whoops.
Not much later, he's yelling "Who the hell is healing the main tank with me? His health keeps jumping up!!!" me-> "LAWL PWNED BY BEACON OF LIGHT BITCH"
And so on, and so forth. No one expects a Beacon of Light heal. nomnomnom.
So yeah, yeah, that all sounds well and good, but then we get to fire dude. No, I don't remember his name. This time I glared angrily at my tree fiance and insisted I do the healing assignments. He rolled his eyes and agreed, so I told Abigora to focus on the MT and OT with me, and let the druid take care of the raid.
First, we didn't have much time, and my Treedude was having problems with Healbot, which he was sure could be fixed by running in and out of the instance... repeatedly. He glared at me when I suggested he simply type /reloadui, and then proceeded to run in and out even more.
Finally we get started, and proceeded to wipe three tmes. Each time was more fabulous than the last, let me assure you.
The thing is, if you've never played a holy pally before, you may have the following misconceptions:
That pallies don't run out of mana and
that they only have three spells.
So, so, so wrong.
Granted, maybe a pally that doesn't suck as badly as me doesn't run out of mana, but I am all badness. Also, I am awful at keeping track of my cooldowns. Sacredshieldwut? LOLJUDGE. I can't tell you how many times I would finally remember to judge, and then be like "Ooooo this is nice and speedy. I should really do that more often..." I probably cast Beacon of Light every 30 seconds, even though I also have the glyph. Oh and Sacred Shield every 2 minutes. Sigh.
My mana would get low and I'd just hit every magic proc buff button I have - Divine Favor, Divine Plea, Mana Pot, Avenging Wrath... you name it, I would just hit it. I have no idea what I'm doing here.
And let's not even get me started on hands. What? Hand of what? HOW CAN I POSSIBLY HAVE THAT MANY APPENDAGES?!?!?! Should I tie all these thingies to hotkeys or something? My current strategy is just to completely ignore that row of buttons and pretend they don't exist. Lalalala I can't seeeeeeeee you! Again, I have no idea what I'm doing here.
I mean, I probably could try to learn but... what would I post about then? FailPally is way more fun and entertaining, don't you think?